Poll of the Week: June 13, 2010

Here is the new poll of the week. This topic will be written about on Saturday!

Going to the Dentist

The poll of the week had surprising results, but when it is all said and done, more people hate going to the dentist than the doctor.

However, I was surprised to find that, although more people DID hate going to the dentist, going to the doctor trailed very close behind.

But, let’s talk about going to the dentist.

Going to the dentist is just plain horrible. It really is. I’ve never had a good time at the dentist. And the only thing I liked about the dentist as a kid was that, when I was done, the hygienist would give me some sort of sticker, or prize. But I’m not a kid anymore. No more prizes.

So, let’s pretend your next dental appointment is just a check-up/cleaning. And it’s today. Did you just cringe?

You wake up thinking, I have to go to the dentist today. And then, your next thought, How can I get out of it? You end up going though. You know you’ll have to go at some point. Might as well get it over with, right?

Just before you leave for the dentist, you brush your teeth. And it’s not a usual brushing either. Nope. You take your time. You brush every section of your mouth for a good 2 minutes (including your tongue). You actually floss. You use mouthwash (maybe twice) and you inspect your mouth to make sure you did a good job.

You don’t want to look bad for the dentist, right? I mean, he IS looking at your teeth. So, they have to look good.

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You arrive at the office. After waiting, you’re brought into a room with that scary looking chair, and a bunch of dental apparatuses that make you want to scream. Those are going in my mouth?!

Then, in comes the hygienist. She’s going to clean your teeth better than you ever could. And its going to be painful.

She shines that awful light in your eyes starts scrubbing away with that spinning, whirring toothbrush device and the most awful tasting toothpaste known to humanity. Then, maybe she’ll notice you have tartar build-up. Tartar build-up? OH NO!

Yes, tartar build-up. It occurs frequently on the backsides of our front teeth. And do you know how the hygienist gets it off? Of course you do: she scrapes it off as if she’s ripping wallpaper from a wall.

After the tartar build-up is removed (which takes forever), leaving your gums swollen and in pain, she continues her cleaning procedures. Tooth after tooth.

Then, its time for her to floss your mouth.

She jams the floss between your teeth as if the only way to get it in there was with a hammer and chisel. You cry in pain as the floss hits your already swollen gums.

Gumby's Flossing Mishap

Then, comes the fluoride.

She sticks that mouth guard type object, filled with the nastiest liquid on Earth, in your mouth. And you’re expected to hold it there. For 2 minutes.

Then, you get to rinse and spit. YUMMY.

After that torture is complete, its time to actually see the dentist.

The dentist comes in, and greets you pleasantly, as if what he’s about to do isn’t anything like violating your mouth by probing it with a thousand instruments.

Then, he proceeds to violate your mouth by probing it with a thousand instruments.

“Hmm…hmm…hmm…what’s this here?”

He scrapes at a non-existent hole in your tooth. The instrument pierces your gum and you cry out in pain.

“Oh, nothing. Hmm, tartar build-up? Have you been flossing?”

“Of course, I floss everyday.” Which you and I both know is a bold-faced lie. And so does the dentist.

And after he’s done probing your mouth, you’re good to go. Right after you pay your bill. And no, there’s no prize.

This is, unfortunately, only the “least-worst” type of dentist visit. Imagine having to go in for a root canal. What a painful experience…

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People Who Smell Bad

We’ve all had at least one encounter with someone who smells rancid.

Whether it was on a bus or train, a workplace or public venue, a restaurant or a bar, one thing is for certain: smelly people smell.

The worst part about an encounter with a person who smells bad is this: you don’t want to make them feel bad so you have to pretend that you don’t notice. But sometimes, its so bad that the eyes start watering up, and you start vomiting in your mouth.

You try your best to keep your nose as far away from them as possible. But somehow, the smell haunts you. It wafts into your nostrils, enters your nasal cavity, and there it is again: the smell.

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This is why deodorant was invented. To keep bad smells away! And you can’t help but wonder, do these smelly people use it?

Do they shower?

They probably do. Just not as often as non-smelly beings. Personally, I shower daily.

The sad part of all this is that smelly people don’t really realize that they smell bad. Unless you’re sniffing your pits every 10 minutes, you won’t know if you’re emitting a horrible body odor. And even if you do, the odor isn’t that bad to you because its your own odor. Did you ever notice that? When you smell your own odor, it smells fine. But if you smell other people’s odors? IT REEKS.

General rule of thumb for everyone: Shower at least every other day. Always wear a layer of deodorant.

Oil Spills

Hey, I know this sounds like a cliché post, but does anyone like oil spills? No. So, I figured, why not add it to the list of stuff you should hate?

Let’s be real here. There’s a report on the BP oil spill practically every 5 seconds. Whether its on the internet or on television, everybody won’t stop talking about it.

And you know why? Because its still not fixed.

Friends, we’re going to be hearing about this oil spill for years. YEARS! Isn’t that just disgusting?

And BP seems to think they’re doing a good job. But when you wait almost 2 months too long to take action, and use your billion dollar company for a $50 million ad campaign rather than a $50 million clean up plan, you tend to find that you’ll have a much bigger problem on your hands.

So, let’s run through a list of why we should hate oil spills:

1. They cause a lot of damage to oceans
2. They kill friendly sea animals like turtles
3. They hurt business in the area (and the economy overall)
4. They dominate our news outlets (especially if they’re really bad)
5. They ruin beaches
6. They hurt friendly land-living animals like seagulls
7. They’re freaking ugly
8. They take a long time to clean up

I’m sure there are plenty more intricate reasons as to why we should hate oil spills. But that’s a basic list.

Comments on this issue? Please comment!

People Who Talk Too Much

When I was in elementary school, I remember this one boy in my fifth grade class who, whenever he was called on by the teacher, everyone groaned.

He was one of those people that just rambles on forever. And even when you thought he was done, he would keep going.

And if you tried to cut him off, he talked louder to drown you out.

Isn’t that obnoxious? I thought so.

These people are just so frustrating to deal with on a daily basis. It just seems like they talk for an eternity. And then, when they’re done, you just don’t know what to say because you’ve zoned out of the conversation. Because you know, nobody’s attention span is that long.

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It’s terrible when you’re on a first date. You may ask the simple question: So, what’s your favorite TV show?

Well, I would have to say that its __________ because __________ and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah…blah blah. And you know, I really like that guy…what’s his name…oh right, ___________ because blah blah blah blah and blah blah blah some more and blah blah blah and you know, they really have some good shows on that station. Some people don’t like them, but I do, and blah blah blah blah and if you blah blah blah some more and you blah blah blah and blah blah blah blah and blah. And really, my couch is extremely comfortable so I can watch TV for a long time without my butt hurting. And I have one of those cool remote controls that control everything in the room and I have all my favorite channels preset to the remote, and so I can blah blah blah blah blah and blah blah blah and then some. Sometimes my dog blah blah blah blah and he’ll jump around when I watch baseball because I have a big TV and he goes nuts when he sees the ball on TV and blah blah blah blah and then I go for a walk sometimes, and overall, its just a great way to stay in shape.

Notice how you have no freaking clue what was just said? Its because he talked so much that you just tuned out. And somehow, he went from his favorite TV show to staying in shape. How is that possible?!

Generally, I try to stay away from people who talk too much. But frankly, I can’t stand people who talk too little, as well. I think there’s a threshold for how much a person should/can talk.

A good conversationist knows the boundaries, but won’t stoop too low either. At least, that’s my take on it. What’s yours?