Getting a Gift You Hate

With the holiday season upon us, I find it fitting to write about this.

I love getting gifts. I enjoy it as much as you do. Admit it: you love getting gifts. Not to sound materialistic, but they are one of the best reasons for the season.

But what about gifts that we hate?

Useless gifts are the bane of the gift-giving season. They are unenjoyable, sometimes thoughtless, and without a doubt, tragic.

The most worthless gift to me is a gift card to a store I rarely/never shop at. Like the Gap. I don’t shop at the Gap, so please don’t get me a gift card from the Gap. It’s not too much to ask, is it?

So, here’s an important tip: get people gift cards from stores they can use them at. Not stores they can’t.

I also hate receiving clothes that don’t fit, or are completely out of my style zone. They suck because I’m never going to wear them, and I end up having to return them for something I will wear. That’s not the point of a gift. The point is to get something the person will use/wear/cherish. At least, that’s what I believe.

I really try to get useful gifts for people. If you can’t think of anything useful for me, just don’t get me anything. Or give me money. Money is thoughtless, but it will allow me to buy something useful. Therefore, in essence, you have given me something useful, which fulfills at least one aspect of gift-giving. Right?

Anything edible is out of the question too. It’s thoughtless. Candy doesn’t do anything for me. It’s a useless, wasteful gift that nobody will really care about or remember. Why bother?

Take it upon yourself this holiday season to buy useful, thoughtful gifts. Really try to get something people will enjoy to open. After all, the look on someone’s face when they get a gift they like is much different (more fulfilling to you) than when they get a gift they hate. Put some thought into your gifts.

Flies

They sure are annoying, aren’t they?

They’re gross. Flies are just useless beings. They fly around, bother you, fly around some more, bother you some more, then die.

That is the existence of a fly.

What purpose was the fly created for? What purpose does it serve? Practically none. I’ve never heard anyone say, “OH YAY A FLY IS IN THE ROOM!” No, that just doesn’t happen.

I also hate when you can’t find a fly swatter to get rid of the damned thing.

Flies are useless. That’s why we swat at and kill them. They fly around, looking for food. Some flies live to suck your blood, leaving a nasty, itchy mark on your body. Others like to swarm around garbage. Anything that sucks blood or swarms around garbage probably isn’t worth your time.

I wonder what scientists who study flies think. I wonder what they think about the disgusting beings.

I think I read somewhere that flies live for about 24 hours. That is, if a human doesn’t splatter them first.

I think that flies just shouldn’t exist. It would save us humans a lot of anguish and grief. Yes, anguish and grief. If there is a fly in the room, Lord knows I have to get up and rid the room of the fly. I can’t stand the buzzing either. It drives me insane. BZZZ. BZZZ. BZZZ.

It’s just so annoying, right?

And why do you think people make a living out of exterminating pests like flies, mice, etc.? Because people don’t like them. That’s all there is to it.

Ew.

Stupid Questions

Remember in grade school when your teachers told you, “There’s no such thing as a stupid question“? Guess what: there are.

Stupid questions happen all the time! In fact, I’m asked stupid questions almost everyday. By friends, by family, by colleagues. Everyone asks stupid questions. So, don’t be afraid! You’ll make a fool of yourself anyway.

Here’s a perfect example of a stupid question. My friends Caty, Jimmy, and I were sitting around today. Caty is Asian. She’s full-blown Asian. She has Asian parents. Jimmy knows this. He even makes funny remarks about her being Asian. He asked today, “Do you have an Asian Mom?”

Now, what kind of question is that? That’s the kind of question that’s stupid. I can’t believe he asked that.

 

Other stupid question scenarios are:

“Are you okay?” – When the person just got out of a bad car accident.

“Why is the sky blue?” – Personally, I don’t know the answer, but who the hell asks this question? (Update: I learned why the sky is blue!).

“Can I borrow a piece of paper?” – Are you going to give it back?

“Can I use the bathroom?” – Yes you can, dummy. You can use the bathroom. The proper question should be, “May I use the bathroom?”.

“What other questions can I ask?” – When trying to write a blog about stupid questions.

 

See? There’s a lot of stupid questions in the world. So, don’t be afraid to ask them! But, that doesn’t mean we won’t hate you for asking them!

Post stupid questions you’ve been asked in the comments below, or email them to stuffyoushouldhate@gmail.com!

People Who Don’t Use Turn Signals

Turn signals are important. They let people know that you’re going to turn when you’re driving. That’s important.

When you don’t use them, it pisses me, and everyone else, off.

Granted, I don’t use turn signals sometimes. And by sometimes, I mean when nobody is around. But, for the most part, I use them. Especially when it seems really important to make sure people know I’m turning. Like when I’m merging, or when I’m in a left lane turning left (so that people can go around me in the right lane).

But there’s people that don’t use turn signals when it’s really important. For example, if you’re going to turn left from a left lane, don’t wait to turn on your turn signal. This way, people can go around you in the right lane and not get stuck behind you. It’s IMPORTANT. Trust me.

Also, if you’re going to slow down for a turn, at the very least, you should use your turn signal. That way, people know why you’re slowing down and they don’t get annoyed that you’re slowing down. If you’re like me, though, you’ll probably still get annoyed about the slow-down and honk your horn anyway (not like I do that).

If you’re going to slow down for a turn, don’t slow down to 5MPH. That’s just not necessary.

What about when people merge into a lane right in front of you without a turn signal? That really bothers me because I have to slow down rapidly to avoid an accident. At least use your turn signal to let me know that you have to get in the lane where I am. Then, I can give you a CHANCE to get in the lane.

And how about those people that turn their turn signals on just as they’re turning/merging? Just don’t bother. It’s not worth it.

At least have the decency to use a turn signal in your driving. It’s worth the non-anxiety of everyone around you. Trust me.

Being Late

It’s just terrible to be late, isn’t it? It just doesn’t look good.

Being late for a meeting, school, class, work, or your favorite TV show just isn’t fun. I always feel that I’m missing something important (especially if it’s the TV show).

Perhaps you overslept. Or perhaps you fell asleep in the shower. Or maybe, just maybe, you got stuck in traffic. Traffic is the worst kind of late because you’re conscious of how late you are, especially because there’s a clock in your car (and not one in your shower).

And profanities ensue if you’re in the car, as well.

Being late is just plain awful. In fact, I hate it so much that I avoid it as much as possible. That’s right. I’m, for the most part, always on time to my appointments, or class, if I’m not missing them altogether. Sometimes, I avoid being late by not going…and that’s probably worse than being late anyway. It’s a bad situation.

If you want to avoid being late, then try to set an alarm for your event on your phone. You probably carry your cell phone with you everywhere, so why not use the little calendar they build into every phone? It’s easy to program events and activities into a phone. It’s almost no work at all.

If you don’t like the cell phone idea, go old school and carry a planner. They’re great. I use one, and its saved me from forgetting/being late to many an appointment.

If you’re an oversleeper (like me), you want to make sure you set your alarm a few minutes earlier than you normally would. That way, you can snooze a bit without being late.

Of course, planners and alarms don’t prevent the worst kind of lateness: traffic.

If you ever get stuck in traffic…well, there’s not much I can tell you there. You just have to suck it up and deal with it. Take a chill pill, sit back, and wait for it to pass. That’s what I do. It’s the only way.